1) We typically don't buy presents for everyone in my husband's family. It is larger than my immediate family because he has a brother and sister-in-law who have 2 sweet children, as well as a sister and brother-in-law. One year, we drew names so everyone only had to buy for one person. Another year we pooled our money together to buy a gift card for a family in his parents' neighborhood that was struggling financially. We typically still buy for his parents, either as a group gift from all the kids or individually. I have enjoyed not stressing over what to get each person because we live in different cities and don't really know what each person would appreciate. We always make it a priority to get together for Thanksgiving, and I think that is a great way to celebrate!
2) My family is much smaller. I am an only child, so it's just me and my parents. The four of us (including my husband) have always exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve after going to our church's candlelight service and meeting with our extended family. These Christmas Eve events are most beloved childhood tradition. A few years ago, in an effort to demonstrate my thoughtfulness and love, I really tried to buy two to three gifts each for my dad, my mom, and my husband. We exchanged them after the hustle and bustle of the Christmas Eve activities back in the warmth of my parents' house around a fire and perfectly decorated Christmas tree. When all was said and done, every single one of us ended up exchanging or returning over half of what we'd been given. That was a lesson for me. I had tried so hard, and it hadn't worked out the way I'd planned. It was kind of ironic actually. It helped me to see the futility that can creep in during the Christmas gift-giving season.
3) Christmas is Jesus' birthday, not ours. How did we even start giving gifts to each other anyway? I'm not saying you should never give Christmas gifts, but I am saying that some of us spend way too much time and effort and money doing so. I don't want to give because I feel compelled to show my undying love and devotion by buying things. I want to give because I found just the right gift that has some special meaning. I want to give because my giving honors the recipient or the Lord or the least of these in some way.
4) Originally, I thought I wouldn't buy or ask for anything this Christmas, and it was not depressing to me to think this way! But as I've thought about it and read more, I've come to a few different conclusions. Even though I normally don't buy many presents for my husband's family, this year I have thought of some small things that I think will be meaningful to them. I have also planned to scale back on the giving with my parents. My husband has never been a big gift-giver or gift-receiver, so I'm pretty sure he'll be excited to scale back! We have both agreed from the beginning that we didn't want to go overboard with presents for our beloved son. We haven't bought him many toys thus far in his little life, but he has gotten more than enough from other people. I really don't want much more for him. He has plenty, but I know our family will probably want to get him one gift, and I am OK with that.
5) Jen Hatmaker wrote her thoughts about all of this in a post called "The Christmas Conundrum." It is really great, and I highly recommend clicking on the title to read it. In case you don't have time to read her whole post, here are my favorite quotes from it.
What if a bunch of us pulled out of the system? What if we said something very radical and un-American, like: "Our family is going to celebrate Jesus this year in a manner worthy of a humble Savior who was born to two poor teenagers in a barn and yet still managed to rescue humanity."
When faced with Santa everywhere, everywhere, everywhere, we told our kids the story of the original St. Nicholas from the 3rd century, and his devotion to Jesus and the poor. (emphasis added because I didn't know this!)
Four years ago, we started this gift-giving policy for each kid: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. This year, we are giving each of our children $100 to spend on the vulnerable. This is part of their Christmas present, because as you and I know, it just feels so awesome to be a part of Jesus' redemptive story. We will give them some options, and they can distribute their money however they want.
Friends and countrymen, we simply need to spend less on ourselves. There are plenty of practical reasons, like debt and financial strain and untold energy and stress. But even if we could afford to spend $500 on every important person in our lives, that sort of egregious consumerism is unbecoming for the Bride of Christ during a season that is supposed to be marked by the worship of Jesus.
We can find alternative rhythms to show each other our love. My mother-in-law is so very, very good at giving meaningful gifts based on making memories together. She takes my kids to plays and museums and day trips. She invites them to her house individually and spends precious time with them. My kids gobble this time with her down. Let's give the gifts of time and experiences and our creative talents and words this year. They will last long after the electric griddle has been forgotten.
Let's MAKE DADGUM SURE the products we do buy don't come to us courtesy of slave labor. Like Ashley Judd said in Call+Response, "I don't want to wear someone else's despair. I don't want to eat someone else's tragedy." Our little church has joined the dog fight against human trafficking, and let me tell you something: When I refuse to carefully examine the vendors I buy from because it is inconvenient or overwhelming or I just really want that, I am turning the key that shackles the enslaved hands forced to produce my little goodies. I am as complicit as the abusers who exploit these laborers. And please don't tell me, "Not buying this one thing produced through a corrupt supply chain isn't going to make a difference." All that means is I don't care. If it was our children forced to work relentlessly in bondage, we would we hope and pray rich consumers across the world would battle that injustice by directing their consumer dollar with purpose, communicating to capitalistic opportunists "NO WE WILL NOT." We will call unethical business leaders to task with our words, our votes, and our money.
Finally (and all the readers breathed a sigh of relief), instead of just pulling old habits off the shelf and leaving a vacuum of void and guilt, let's replace American practices with - and I mean this in the most sincerest sense - Christian practices. Let's fill our homes with Jesus and find ways to worship Him with our little families every day this month. Let's join the Advent Conspiracy, daring to believe that Christmas can still change the world. May beautiful words fill our houses; lyrics like Come and behold him, born the King of angels. As much as possible, let's mute the competing chatter trying so hard to invade our spaces; turning it down, turning it off. Celebrate Advent with your kids with diligence and anticipation. We ordered a fun version of the Advent Calendar, and each night the kids open a new envelope full of Scriptures and family activities.6) All of the reading and thinking and nudges led me to host a 1-day e-sale for Karama Gifts tomorrow (Wednesday, November 20th). I meant to get this post written sooner, as some of you will probably not read it until after then. That's OK though :) I still want to tell you about them. "Karama's vision is a world where Africans are given dignity through the power of economic independence, artisans are paid a fair wage for the beauty of their work, and African women and children are given opportunity through the provision of food and education." You can view all their products at http://www.karamagifts.com, and you can also learn more about the artisans who make the items on their site. The benefit of this 1-day sale is that you get free shipping on all orders over $15 by using the code ANNAPARTY. I also got to choose 3 items that are 30% off for this one day only. Your dollars make a difference. Money talks.
OK, so this post may not be shorter, but my part was definitely shorter. I can't help it that you needed to read half of Jen Hatmaker's post, too! Thank you so much for reading. I pray it makes you think and act differently. I want to end with a few favorite quotes from another new favorite author, David Platt, in his book entitled Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream.
I am convinced that we as Christ followers in American churches have embraced values and ideas that are not only unbiblical but that actually contradict the gospel we claim to believe. And I am convinced we have a choice. (page 3)
But as a new pastor comparing the images around me that day with the pictures still fresh in my mind of brothers and sisters on the other side of the world, I could not help but think that somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable. We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves. (page 7, emphasis added)
Consider the cost when Christians ignore Jesus' command to sell their possessions and give to the poor and instead choose to spend their resources on better comforts, larger homes, nicer cars, and more stuff. Consider the cost when these Christians gather in churches and choose to spend millions of dollars on nice buildings to drive up to, cushioned chairs to sit in, and endless programs to enjoy for themselves. Consider the cost for the starving multitudes who sit outside the gate of contemporary Christian affluence. (page 15)I know these last quotes from David Platt's Radical aren't directly related to Christmas, but they are related to the ideas in this post. My mind also immediately goes to the World Vision Gift Catalog when I read these. In closing, I wish you much peace with the Savior (not necessarily with this world), unending joy, and radicalness worthy of the Gospel this sacred season.
