Dear God,
1) I’m pretty obsessed/OCD right now about our house. Should we downsize? Then what if we have more kids? (We could move again.) But never back to this beautiful house. Is my house my idol? Do I only want to downsize for appearances? For a pat on the back? What if we couldn’t find anything to move into?
2) Again, what if we have more kids and then “need” more room? Oh my Lord, I need help.
3) I don’t think I’m ever gonna stop feeling guilty completely if we stay.
4) How do we know? If You told us, we’d do it. (My word says sell your possessions and give to the poor.)
5) Should this be our act of worship/love/sacrifice to You even if You don’t ask us to do it?
6) I’m scared of feeling cramped, but other people’s smaller houses don’t feel cramped.
7) I wish we’d built a smaller house here, but we didn’t. Help me not to dwell on the past.
God, I need You. Please help me. I want to do what’s right. Thanks.
I love you,
Anna
Today, a mere one month later, as I wrote in my journal
again, I looked back at my last entry and with gratitude wrote these words to
God, “What a way we’ve come! House is on
the market and we’ve already had a showing!”
We thought and prayed about this decision a lot (we’ve
seriously been considering it since at least November), and while it is still
sometimes scary to me, I have peace knowing that we are offering it. Not only do I have peace, I am excited about
the possibilities that come along with this.
If we sell it, that means we move into a smaller, Ardmore home, and I am
excited to see which one it will be.
Spring is when most houses go on the market here, so it’s kind of like
waiting to open Christmas presents as we wait to see which ones could be our
next home.