Why are we putting our house on the market?

There are many reasons, and while my husband and I both agree that offering our house for sale is what we want and that we would like to move into a smaller, less expensive Ardmore home, our motives are not exactly the same.  I, for one, am OK with this, because I think it’s totally awesome that we at least want the same thing because this is a big deal for us.  I know God orchestrated it; what comes of it is yet to be seen.

Ok, so back to my reasons.  I would like to add the disclaimer that while some of these reasons are shared by both my husband and me, some of them are solely mine.  So if you disagree or don’t like them, don’t take it out on him.  He’s just an innocent bystander.

1) We have over 2,400 square feet, including 4 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, a formal dining room, an office, an eat-in kitchen with a breakfast room, and an amazing front porch.  There are only 3 human beings living here, and when I voiced my concern to God about having more kids, I didn’t mean a lot more.  I meant one more.  We will never “need” all of the space that we currently have.  We may “use” it once a year or even once a week, but we will never “need” it.

2) If we are able to get some equity out of our house and put it into a less expensive house, we will be mortgage-free sooner, which means we will have more money to use for other things.  I know some of that money will be spent on ourselves, but I also want some of it to be spent on others. 

3) I worked at a low-income school for 3.5 years until I had my son, and I occasionally went to a few of my students’ apartments (very few lived in houses) to take them home or to take them places.  One of my students who lived in an apartment asked me if I lived in an apartment or a house.  At the time, I lived in a condo so I told her it was kind of like an apartment (although we were not renting it, we had a mortgage on it).  She said she hoped she could live in a house one day.  This stopped me in my tracks because I took the fact that I grew up in a house with a yard and pets and room to run around for granted.  She lived in a run-down apartment complex with a concrete parking lot as her only playground. 

It was also unusual for my students to have their own bedrooms, and some of them even slept on the couch on a regular basis.  One student whose family didn’t have a washer or dryer washed her clothes in the bathtub.  Many of my students’ families only had one car, and oftentimes that car wasn’t very reliable.  One of my beloved students was technically homeless for part of the year, as his family moved from whatever relative or friend would take them in at the time to the other.  I loved that particular student, and at that time, we weren’t even using our upstairs at all.  I seriously considered taking him and his family in, but my husband didn’t think it was a good idea for a variety of reasons, although he did carefully consider the possibility with me. 

I know that I have worked hard and made good choices and some may think I deserve what I have, but I don’t.  Unfortunately, I think working hard and making good choices only gets you so far.  I think a lot more of my success is due to the fact that I was born into a white, middle-class family in the United States with amazingly loving and talented parents who, along with scholarships, paid for me to go to college and bought me my beloved 2001 Honda Accord that I drive and LOVE to this day.  (When we had our son, I briefly considered getting a used mini-van, but I just love my car too much.  I mean it has leather seats, a 6 disc CD changer, AND a tape player- what else do you need?!)  I also attribute my success to my amazingly intelligent and hard-working husband.  We have both been blessed with wonderful opportunities and jobs along the way. 

So, basically, I have way more than a lot of people in the United States have.  And, trust me, you don’t even want to get me started on what little necessities and opportunities people in third-world countries have.

4) “Just because I can have it doesn’t mean I should.”  I read this recently in my new favorite book, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker, and it has stayed with me.  Just because we are not living beyond our means does not mean that we’re not spending too much on ourselves.  Just because I can afford this house doesn’t mean I should stay here.  Just because I could buy a new mini-van doesn’t mean I should.  And the list goes on… 

5) Lastly, in the words of my aforementioned new favorite author, Jen Hatmaker, “It’s time to face our spending and call it what it is: a travesty.  I’m weary of justifying it.”  I am so weary of justifying my extravagant lifestyle to myself.  I just don’t want to do it anymore.  I have such a peace about putting our house on the market.  I know it’s only a small step, but for me, it’s a big step in my journey of learning to fly.  I am beyond excited to see where God is taking us, and I don’t just mean which house we move to (assuming someone buys our house!).  I mean I feel like I’m on a great adventure, and I feel more alive than I have in a long time. 

Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters;
And you who have no money come, buy and eat.
Come, buy wine and milk

Without money and without cost.

Why do you spend money for what is not bread,

And your wages for what does not satisfy?

Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,

And delight yourself in abundance.

Incline your ear and come to Me.

Listen, that you may live;

And I will make an everlasting covenant with you,

According to the faithful mercies shown to David.
-Isaiah 55:1-3

Our Decision

This is a journal entry I made on 1/19/13.  I typically write them when I’m stressed or need to deal with things because I feel better after I’ve written it out to God instead of just saying it to Him.  The parts in parentheses are me answering my own questions!

Dear God,

1) I’m pretty obsessed/OCD right now about our house.  Should we downsize?  Then what if we have more kids? (We could move again.)  But never back to this beautiful house.  Is my house my idol?  Do I only want to downsize for appearances?  For a pat on the back?  What if we couldn’t find anything to move into? 

2) Again, what if we have more kids and then “need” more room?  Oh my Lord, I need help. 
 
3) I don’t think I’m ever gonna stop feeling guilty completely if we stay.

4) How do we know?  If You told us, we’d do it. (My word says sell your possessions and give to the poor.)

5) Should this be our act of worship/love/sacrifice to You even if You don’t ask us to do it?

6) I’m scared of feeling cramped, but other people’s smaller houses don’t feel cramped.

7) I wish we’d built a smaller house here, but we didn’t.  Help me not to dwell on the past.

God, I need You.  Please help me.  I want to do what’s right.  Thanks. 

                                 I love you,
                                    Anna

Today, a mere one month later, as I wrote in my journal again, I looked back at my last entry and with gratitude wrote these words to God, “What a way we’ve come!  House is on the market and we’ve already had a showing!” 

We thought and prayed about this decision a lot (we’ve seriously been considering it since at least November), and while it is still sometimes scary to me, I have peace knowing that we are offering it.  Not only do I have peace, I am excited about the possibilities that come along with this.  If we sell it, that means we move into a smaller, Ardmore home, and I am excited to see which one it will be.  Spring is when most houses go on the market here, so it’s kind of like waiting to open Christmas presents as we wait to see which ones could be our next home.

Our House

Once we decided to sell our condo and buy a house in Ardmore, we began doing research (and by “we” I primarily mean my husband, who can tell you the asking price of any house currently for sale in Ardmore and the selling price of any house that’s sold in the last 3 years.  I’m not kidding; this guy is for real.  He is amazing that way!  I, on the other hand, cannot remember what a house we went into 3 years ago looks like, or for that matter, I sometimes can’t even remember going in the house!).  Back to the point…In addition to doing research, we also began going to Sunday afternoon Open Houses.  While we loved the character and charm of Ardmore houses, we are by no means handy and many of the houses needed quite a bit of work to be livable (due to really yucky bathrooms and/or kitchens) or comfortable (many have only 1 bathroom or outdated kitchens, but I’ll speak much more on this later.)  Quite by accident, we went to an Open House where a developer was showing off his recently redone creation and found out that the house had an extra lot they were willing to sell off separately from the house.  Not such a long story short, we bought it.

We had absolutely the most fun designing and building our home.  Thankfully my husband and I have very similar tastes, so we thoroughly enjoyed picking out all of the materials, paints, and finishes that went into our home.  We knew that we’d probably never have the chance to build in Ardmore again, so I wanted to make sure we built a home that we could grow into once we started a family.  Much more on this later, too…

Everything went very quickly.  After closing on the lot, we got an architect to fine-tune our plans, got 2 bids on our project, chose a builder, and after breaking ground, we moved into our home in less than 3 short months.  After that we had even more fun searching and finding the perfect furniture for each room, and when I walk in the front door each day, I feel a sense of comfort when I see every hand-picked piece lovingly in its place. 

Ardmore

We fell in love with Ardmore shortly after moving to Winston.  It’s where we go to church, and it’s ideally located in the heart of Winston near just about everything.  It is close to downtown without being downtown, and we can walk to the grocery store and more importantly, we can walk to Brynn’s, Starbucks, and Krispy Kreme.  (If you don’t know what Brynn’s is, please call me and I will take you there!)  We are entering Spring, and Ardmore is magical in the Spring.  There are no cookie cutter houses in Ardmore.  While I was not yet born when they were being built, I imagine they were all lovingly designed and crafted.  They were primarily built between 1910 and 1950, and they are unique and full of character.  I once told my husband that if I could live anywhere in the world, it would be Ardmore.  I know there are more expensive neighborhoods, but there are none more captivating to me, especially when the birds are singing and the trees, bushes, and flowers are blooming in the Spring. 

My three favorite discoveries since living here in Ardmore in no particular order are: having squirrels scamper around in my backyard (even though my husband banned me from feeding them because he’s afraid they’ll make holes in our yard), seeing real, live chipmunks scurry across the way (I never knew how tiny they were, which makes them infinitely more adorable), and seeing my first real freesia while walking through the hood (this was an aha moment for me- there really are perfectly formed little flowers that smell like the lotion!).