It Won't Be Like This Forever

"It won't be like this forever," Mom said. 

This was her response when I asked her if it was too much to continue taking Granny to see Pa multiple times a week in his assisted living facility. 

"Can't she go by herself?  How long are you going to keep doing this?" 

I was worried about my mom's emotional health, and I thought she was taking on too much, as her dad continued to decline.

My mom went with Granny daily at first, then multiple times a week, for over a year, as Pa's dementia worsened.  Granny wouldn't go by herself- it was too hard for her to leave Pa- because sometimes he begged her to go home and didn't understand why he needed to stay there. 

Granny, Mom, and her sisters had kept him at home as long as they could until it became dangerous to do so.  Fortunately, they found a loving, clean facility that was only minutes from Mom's house where Pa could stay.  They were continually impressed with the staff there, and it was certainly a blessing to my family.

"It won't be like this forever." 

I remember Mom's words so clearly because they held so much.  It meant what she was doing was temporary...because Pa wouldn't be like this forever.  He would not get better; he would get worse, and eventually he would pass away.  Now, I can focus more on that meaning.  But then I focused on her, and the fact that she wouldn't have to keep on like this forever.

Despite all of the visits and excellent care while being in the assisted living facility, Pa's condition continued to worsen, and eventually my family decided it was best to move him to the Hospice House so that he could be more comfortable.  I think this was the first time my grandmother allowed herself to believe that he may not get better.  She had always clung to the hope that he would get back to his old self.  Though most would deem this hope illogical, why should she not believe that her husband of 60 plus years would return to normal?  She loved him, and we always hope for the best for those we love.

 

Mom had asked me to pray for a peaceful death once Pa was moved to Hospice.  She also asked me to request prayer on his behalf from people I knew would pray and treat his condition with dignity.  Heartbreakingly, he was unable to eat and had become restless and uneasy near the end, and she just wanted him to go in peace.  Though it took longer for Pa to go to glory than we had hoped, the staff at Hospice was able to make him more comfortable and there were a few miracles along the way.

Pa was able to tell Granny that he loved her.  I count that a miracle. 

The night before he died, Granny sat by his bed and rubbed his hand, as she wanted to stay by his side.  One of the Hospice nurses asked if she wanted to get in the bed and lay next to him.  I don't think my family had ever thought that was possible, but Granny said, "Yes."  She laid there with him until the end, and I can only imagine how special that was to her as he had been away from home for over a year.  I count that a miracle.

The next morning, Pa passed away, and one of the nurses said it was one of the most peaceful deaths she'd ever seen.  I count that a miracle.

My mom had been with Pa a lot during the days he was at the Hospice House, but she was not there when he passed away.  Thankfully, though, she didn't need to be.  She had been there with him through everything, and she was the epitome of a "good and faithful servant."  She was sad, yes, but even more than this, she rejoiced that Pa was with Jesus.  He was more than restored to his former self, as my grandmother had hoped; he was transformed to his eternal self.

Pa meeting Lincoln for the first time

I share this story because those words from my mom, "It won't be like this forever," have continued to resonate with me.  On good days, when I am intentional about remembering them, this is the way they speak to me. 

When my toddler won't stop whining over the same things every day, I tell myself, "It won't be like this forever," and I have more patience.  Because he is a child and those things matter to him, and he deserves my patience.

When he wants me to read one more book, I tell myself, "It won't be like this forever," and I read another book.  Because I know that one day I will wish he wants to sit in my lap and read just one more book with me. 

When my baby gets up in the middle of the night to eat and I am tired, I tell myself, "It won't be like this forever," and I am able to receive those precious moments with him with joy instead of burden.  Because they are precious and time moves too fast sometimes.

When my husband, who is a saint, and I argue because we are physically and emotionally worn out in the midst of these two children, I tell myself, "It won't be like this forever," and I am able to choose kinder words.  Because he does more than anyone to help me with these two boys, and he deserves kindness.

I share this with you because I want you to know that whatever difficult thing you are going through won't be this way forever.  If you can accept those words, then maybe you, too, can find patience, joy, and kindness in the midst of your trials.  These words have given me perspective to see that some of these things that are hard for me now are some of the very same things that I will look back on and treasure. 

For better or worse, this world and everything in it are temporary.  It is my deepest desire that I do not waste my short time on this earth, so that one day I will hear the sacred words, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" uttered over me as well.

Dad's Birthday

Last week was my dad's birthday, and he has always been hard to buy for because he says he already has everything he needs.  This year I decided to write something for his 63rd birthday, and I think those of you who know him will enjoy reading it.  Special thanks to my friend, Nissa, for this great idea!

63 Reasons to Love Don Ramsey!

1. He is sacrificial.

2. He treats Mom's parents as if they were his own.

3. He gets up early and stays up late to come visit me.

4. He drives a smelly, old car and doesn't even care.

5. He rarely buys things for himself.

6. He usually does whatever Mom wants.

7. He is a church leader in many ways.

8. He is a devoted deacon.

9. He truly cares about the senior citizens of the church.

10. He drives people to doctor's appointments.

11. He is a great Sunday School director.

12. He has served on multiple committees.

13. He is a talented musician.

14. He plays the piano by ear.

15. He is a great saxophone player.

16. He is a first-rate tenor in the choir.

17. He sings beautiful solos.

18. He is in the community band.

19. He has had a long, successful career.

20. He served Buncombe and McDowell County as a sheriff's deputy.

21. He served McDowell County as "major."

22. He mentored many young people in the Explorer program.
23. He trained many officers in the BLET program.
24. He helped many prisoners as a Case Manager at the prison.
25. He served 12 years as the Clerk of Court of McDowell County.
26. He is a devoted City Councilman.
27. He is handy around the house.
28. He fixes everything.
29. He owns any tool you will ever need.
30. He hangs blinds, pictures, and curtains.
31. He even goes into muddy basements to dry them out.
32. He is a community servant.
33. He builds ramps for people who need them.
34. He enjoys visiting and talking with the residents of Rose Hill.
35. He serves meals at Thanksgiving.
36. He helps people on the Dread Disease committee.
37. He has good taste in food.
38. He loves Mom's home-cooked food and prefers it over eating out.
39. He is a huge supporter of Jack Frost!
40. He loves BBQ!
41. He has become an avid reader.
42. He finds a truck and moving blankets whenever you need them and then helps you move!
43. He moves furniture however many times you need him to until you get the room looking just right!
44. He is a great Dad.
45. He stayed up until I arrived safely at home every night of my life.
46. He was always calm and pleasant on the phone if I called and said I'd be late.
47. He provided everything I ever needed.
48. He also provided mostly everything I ever wanted, although I am still waiting on that Barbie Jeep :)
49. He built me a tree house and took me on roller coasters.
50. He let me have lots of cats and a dog and even a hamster.
51. He bought me my first car, a used Jeep that I wanted.
52. He bought me a safer car, a new Honda with side airbags that saved my life.
53. Then his insurance bought me a third car, with no complaints from him.
54. He paid the remaining balance after scholarships for me to get both of my degrees.
55. He takes me to Fatz when I visit because we don't have one here.
56. He always answers the phone, and he texts faster than Mom.
57. He has always treated me as the apple of his eye, until January 22, 2012, that is.
58. Now he treats Lincoln and Silas as the apples of his eye!
59. He is the best Poppy!
60. He is flexible, evidenced by the fact that he didn't mind when Lincoln recently changed his name to Pop-Pop.
61. He builds a mean Lego tower and doesn't care when it gets promptly destroyed.
62. He loves to babysit so I can go out.
63. He lets Lincoln do whatever he wants, within reason, of course!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DAD AND POP-POP!

We are thankful for you and love you very much!

 

Dad and Lincoln

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 Days Before Silas Arrived!

 Dad and Silas

 

 

Goodbye, Cable

It was Christmas Break, and I was in Big Lots.  I got a text from my husband that said, "I cancelled the cable."  I called him, because although he had threatened the cable company many times before, he had never actually cancelled the cable.  When I talked to him, he confirmed what his text had said.  He had actually, really, completely cancelled the cable.  We had just moved into our house the week before, so we were busy and weren't actually watching that much TV, so it was not a huge, big deal.  I had even told him in the past I'd like to try it, so although I was surprised, it didn't really bother me. 

Every year, the cable company goes up on the rates.  Every year, my husband calls and after waiting and talking for hours, he gets them to come down on the rate.  That had happened this year, too.  They had gone up from $80 to $110 for cable and internet, and he had called and got them back down to $85 a month.  But then the bill came, and it was not $85; it was $110.  He patiently called again to remind them that he had called earlier and negotiated the rate down.  Normally, as painful as it may be, that works.  This time, it didn't.  They insisted that there was no way anyone could have given him that rate.  So he cancelled. 

He knew we couldn't do without internet, so he called another provider and got internet for $30 a month for the first 6 months and $42 a month for the remaining months.  So we will save $80 a month for the first 6 months and $68 a month for the remaining months.  That's $888 that we'll save this year, and $816 that we'll save in future years if we make it that far.

I have learned some things through this process. 
 
1) Cancelling cable doesn't mean you can't watch TV.  Who knew?!

2) You can hook your laptop up to your TV and watch shows for free from the major networks' websites if you don't want to watch them when they're normally on.  Hence, our version of DVR.  Yes, there are commercials, but not as many as when you watch on cable.  Apparently, there's also a way to use your laptop to watch shows on your TV without hooking up an actual cable, but we don't have the right equipment for that yet, although we are looking into it.

3) Antennas are a lot smaller than they used to be.  Ours is a very slender, square, black box about the size of a one subject notebook.  This is what I use to watch TV when I need some background noise during the day.

4) When you have 2 children as young as ours, you're often too tired to watch more than 1 show a night anyway, and sometimes you don't even want to watch that!

5) For all these reasons, I don't miss cable as much as I thought I would.

6) Because of this and other reasons, I've been wondering if I should give up my smart phone and go back to a "dumb" phone.  I think I would spend more time PRESENT with my loved ones if I did this and be a little less obsessive about checking my email, Facebook, etc.  But, I'm trying to have more self-control and wean myself from my smart phone instead of giving it up completely because there are a lot of benefits to having a smart phone!

There have been some nights when none of "our shows" have new episodes to watch from the Internet.  This happened when we had cable, too, but back then we could watch Home and Garden or Food Network if there was nothing else on.  There have been some delays in the buffering and some frustrations when this happens.  There have been a handful of times when I just want House Hunters International to take me away.  But for the most part, it has been just fine.

I am not saying that we are perfect in the area of cutting back- far from it.  I still have major weaknesses: nice furniture and professional photographs of my sweet boys are the main ones.  Eating out used to be one as well, but having kids helped with that one.  Regardless, I am proud of my husband for cancelling the cable because he gave up ESPN, which is a biggie.  I guess for now we will just have to wait and see what happens come football season :)

I leave you with a question and a thought to ponder.  Where could you save money?  If you give it a try, you may find that you don't even miss whatever it is that you find the courage to "give up." 

New House

We moved last Wednesday, and I took these pictures with my phone that morning.  I knew the house wouldn't be presentable for awhile, so I wanted to get some shots of it to show you before we moved in!  I've tried to organize the before shots with the after shots so you get the full picture of the renovations :)  Even I was surprised when I looked back at these shots.  It was a nice reminder of how far we've come.

Living Room (before)

Living Room (after) with new entrance to the kitchen- Steven's idea!
Also, we got to design the fireplace mantel and we love it!



Living Room (after)- Now that the paneling is gone, you can appreciate the beamed ceilings!



Entrance to the Kitchen from the Dining Room (before)



Entrance to the Kitchen from the Dining Room (after)



Old Kitchen (view from the back of the house)



New Kitchen (view from the front of the house)



Front Coat Closet (before)- You can barely see it because it's all paneled!!



Coat Closet (after)- with a much better door!



Niche (after) that leads from Living Room to Dining Room- it was paneled before.



Dining Room (before)- with built-ins I originally wanted to save.



Family Room (before)- beyond Dining Room



Dining Room and Family Room (after)- So glad Steven convinced me to remove the built-ins!
We don't think they were original to the house, and it was the single best decision we made!
Thank you, Steven, for having the vision and encouraging me to see it!



Lincoln's Bedroom (before)



Lincoln's Bedroom (after)- I LOVE the blue!



Nursery (before)



Nursery (after)- with closet door that connects to our new Master Bedroom!



Master Bath (before)



Now it is the Hall Bath (after)



Another view of Family Room (before)
Now the window is gone, and there is a door that leads to our new Master Bedroom!



New Master Bedroom Addition



Double Closets for us and Pocket Door/Closet leading to the Nursery
(I don't have to walk all the way around the house to get there!)



Old Hall Bath (before)



Another view of Old Hall Bath (before)



New Master Bath (after)
We closed off the old entrance and put a new entrance from our Master Bedroom

 

There are a few minor things that did not turn out the way we had hoped, and it was a stressful process at times.  But in the end, the layout and space is perfect for us, and I absolutely love our new house!  I love how small it is and how conveniently located everything is.  (I don't know why I ever worried about moving to a smaller house.  I actually prefer it over our larger house, and I didn't think that would be the case.  It's less to clean and more to enjoy.)  I love that it is all on one level.  I love that it has a flat yard.  I love that we will soon be using all of the space once Baby Boy #2 arrives!  I love that we accomplished our goal of lowering our debt and still have a nice house in our beloved Ardmore that's even closer to our church than we were before.  I love that we've taken a house built in 1925 that many people would've written off as soon as they walked in, and turned it into an updated house with a modern layout that I think everyone can appreciate.  I owe most of this to my visionary husband, Steven, because he saw the potential in this house, and he was absolutely right!    

My Faith Story

I was asked to share my faith story during the Worship services at my church yesterday.  I was supposed to keep it to 3-4 minutes, and I think I came pretty close...maybe 5-6 minutes!  I wanted to share it with you here as well.  I hope these written words will enable you to learn more about my journey and this love that will not let me go. 

Good morning.  My name is Anna Rubin, and my husband, Steven, and I have been attending Ardmore since late 2006 right after we got married.  I would like to take this time to tell you a little bit about my faith journey.

I grew up in First Baptist Church of Marion from the time I was 2 years old to the time I went to college, and I have my parents to thank for that.  My experiences there were filled with an overwhelming sense of love and acceptance.  I always felt wanted and loved at church.  I had caring Sunday School teachers and a Youth Minister named Donna Shook whose love for Scripture was evident.  I had a mentor, Heather Wood, and a church family who I knew loved and appreciated me.  I accepted Jesus the summer after my seventh grade year, and it was primarily because of the overwhelming sense of love and acceptance that I had experienced from my church family.

As I matured, I found God to be faithful in all circumstances.  A song by one of my favorite singers, Sara Groves, says this, “All I have need of, His hand will provide; He’s always been faithful to me.”  I have found that to be true in my life time and time again. 

Another truth that became real to me in my formative years is that, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”  When I went through difficult times and people failed me, I came to know that God would not, and could not, fail me. 

My favorite Scripture as an adolescent was Jeremiah 29:11.  “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”  I clung to those words as I grew up, and they gave me such hope that God did indeed care and that He had a plan for me that was good.  Even though I rarely knew as much of “the plan” as I would have liked, it was extremely comforting to me to know that He had one.

As I went off to college, I found another warm church with an amazing college minister, Rhonda Gailes, who not only had a love for the Word, but also a gift for teaching it.  She exposed me to inner-city missions, and encouraged me to work in missions the summer after my freshman year of college.  It was a very important, life-changing experience for me, and I owe her a huge debt of gratitude for imparting so much wisdom and encouraging me to do more than I ever thought I could do.

As I became an adult, God has taught me other important truths.  One is that He is not mad at me.  No matter what I have done or where I have gone, He is always my Father, waiting with open arms to pursue me and bring me home, where He prepares a feast in my honor. 

A favorite Scripture I learned in our Companions in Christ group, led by Christa Warise, comes from Hosea Ch. 2.  “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness and speak kindly to her.  Then I will give her her vineyards from there, and the valley of Achor as a door of hope.  And she will sing there as in the days of her youth, as in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.”  I have found that God continues to allure me and speak kindly to me, and He helps me sing as in the days of my youth.

Another truth that follows from this one is that God wants good things for me.  I know this can sound simple, but for someone who has a tendency to dwell on the past, the ability to believe and internalize this was life-changing for me.  As Sara Groves so beautifully sings, “I believe in a fountain that will never dry, though I’ve thirsted and didn’t have enough.  Thirst is no measure of His faithfulness; He withholds no good thing from us.” 

Becoming a mother has also helped me understand God more.  I truly believe that God always and only has our best interest at heart, no matter what it may seem like at the time.  I know that there is nothing my son could ever do that can change the love I have for him, and I would never wish any harm on him unless it was for his greater good.  If that is the way I, as a human, feel, then how much greater must God feel that towards me?

The last truth I want to share with you that I am currently walking through is that God loves and cares for all of His people, both here and around the world.  I don’t think God wants me to live in luxury, while His other children live in poverty.  From the words of Matthew, I don’t want to store up treasures on this earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 

And from the words of Isaiah 58, I do not want to spend money for what is not bread, and my wages for what does not satisfy.  I want to listen carefully to God, and eat what is good, and delight myself in His abundance.  I want to loosen the literal bonds of wickedness, undo the bands of the yoke, let the literally oppressed go free, and break every yoke.  

In conclusion, I want to thank my parents, Don and Jan Ramsey, my husband, Steven, and my beloved sons, Lincoln and number 2 on the way, for all of the love, peace, and joy they have given me over the years.  They have each played a significant role in molding and shaping me into the person I am today.  I am excited about what God is doing in me, in you, and in this place.  Thank you for allowing me to share my story.

I want to end my blog post today by thanking all of you for the part you have each played in my life.  I mentioned a few sweet names in this story, but there are so many more yet unmentioned.  People are the gift I am most thankful for this year. 

I also want to thank you for all of the encouragement I have received since starting this blog.  I have found writing to be very therapeutic and helpful to me as I process things, and you are such a special part of this process as well.  You make me think, analyze, revise, edit, and love every minute of it!  You motivate me to share more, and your words mean so very much to me.

I have never opened my blog up for comments, but I am leaving this post open.  I thoroughly enjoyed hearing other faith stories yesterday at church, and I am a better person because of it.  I would love nothing more than to hear your stories.  What better, more precious, more life-giving words can we share than our faith stories?  I know you may not have time to share a broad story like I did, but please, share what you can. 

I also apologize in advance if there are technical difficulties, as I've never done this before.  If you have trouble getting your story to post, please feel free to email it to me at AnnaRamseyRubin@yahoo.com, and I can always go back and post it that way.  Thank you!

Christmas

I'm planning on making this post short and sweet, but we'll see how it ends up.  It seems they are always longer than originally planned!  We are so fortunate to have the ability to connect in many ways.  Many of you may have seen what's been on my mind via Facebook, but I would like to expand on it here.  I've been thinking about Christmas and presents and excess and Jesus and this is what I've got so far.

1) We typically don't buy presents for everyone in my husband's family.  It is larger than my immediate family because he has a brother and sister-in-law who have 2 sweet children, as well as a sister and brother-in-law.  One year, we drew names so everyone only had to buy for one person.  Another year we pooled our money together to buy a gift card for a family in his parents' neighborhood that was struggling financially.  We typically still buy for his parents, either as a group gift from all the kids or individually.  I have enjoyed not stressing over what to get each person because we live in different cities and don't really know what each person would appreciate.  We always make it a priority to get together for Thanksgiving, and I think that is a great way to celebrate!

2) My family is much smaller.  I am an only child, so it's just me and my parents.  The four of us (including my husband) have always exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve after going to our church's candlelight service and meeting with our extended family.  These Christmas Eve events are most beloved childhood tradition.  A few years ago, in an effort to demonstrate my thoughtfulness and love, I really tried to buy two to three gifts each for my dad, my mom, and my husband.  We exchanged them after the hustle and bustle of the Christmas Eve activities back in the warmth of my parents' house around a fire and perfectly decorated Christmas tree.  When all was said and done, every single one of us ended up exchanging or returning over half of what we'd been given.  That was a lesson for me.  I had tried so hard, and it hadn't worked out the way I'd planned.  It was kind of ironic actually.  It helped me to see the futility that can creep in during the Christmas gift-giving season.

3) Christmas is Jesus' birthday, not ours.  How did we even start giving gifts to each other anyway?  I'm not saying you should never give Christmas gifts, but I am saying that some of us spend way too much time and effort and money doing so.  I don't want to give because I feel compelled to show my undying love and devotion by buying things.  I want to give because I found just the right gift that has some special meaning.  I want to give because my giving honors the recipient or the Lord or the least of these in some way.

4) Originally, I thought I wouldn't buy or ask for anything this Christmas, and it was not depressing to me to think this way!  But as I've thought about it and read more, I've come to a few different conclusions.  Even though I normally don't buy many presents for my husband's family, this year I have thought of some small things that I think will be meaningful to them.  I have also planned to scale back on the giving with my parents.  My husband has never been a big gift-giver or gift-receiver, so I'm pretty sure he'll be excited to scale back!  We have both agreed from the beginning that we didn't want to go overboard with presents for our beloved son.  We haven't bought him many toys thus far in his little life, but he has gotten more than enough from other people.  I really don't want much more for him.  He has plenty, but I know our family will probably want to get him one gift, and I am OK with that.

5) Jen Hatmaker wrote her thoughts about all of this in a post called "The Christmas Conundrum."  It is really great, and I highly recommend clicking on the title to read it.  In case you don't have time to read her whole post, here are my favorite quotes from it.

What if a bunch of us pulled out of the system? What if we said something very radical and un-American, like: "Our family is going to celebrate Jesus this year in a manner worthy of a humble Savior who was born to two poor teenagers in a barn and yet still managed to rescue humanity." 

When faced with Santa everywhere, everywhere, everywhere, we told our kids the story of the original St. Nicholas from the 3rd century, and his devotion to Jesus and the poor. (emphasis added because I didn't know this!) 

Four years ago, we started this gift-giving policy for each kid: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.  This year, we are giving each of our children $100 to spend on the vulnerable. This is part of their Christmas present, because as you and I know, it just feels so awesome to be a part of Jesus' redemptive story. We will give them some options, and they can distribute their money however they want.

Friends and countrymen, we simply need to spend less on ourselves. There are plenty of practical reasons, like debt and financial strain and untold energy and stress. But even if we could afford to spend $500 on every important person in our lives, that sort of egregious consumerism is unbecoming for the Bride of Christ during a season that is supposed to be marked by the worship of Jesus.

We can find alternative rhythms to show each other our love. My mother-in-law is so very, very good at giving meaningful gifts based on making memories together. She takes my kids to plays and museums and day trips. She invites them to her house individually and spends precious time with them. My kids gobble this time with her down. Let's give the gifts of time and experiences and our creative talents and words this year. They will last long after the electric griddle has been forgotten.

Let's MAKE DADGUM SURE the products we do buy don't come to us courtesy of slave labor. Like Ashley Judd said in Call+Response, "I don't want to wear someone else's despair. I don't want to eat someone else's tragedy." Our little church has joined the dog fight against human trafficking, and let me tell you something: When I refuse to carefully examine the vendors I buy from because it is inconvenient or overwhelming or I just really want that, I am turning the key that shackles the enslaved hands forced to produce my little goodies. I am as complicit as the abusers who exploit these laborers. And please don't tell me, "Not buying this one thing produced through a corrupt supply chain isn't going to make a difference." All that means is I don't care. If it was our children forced to work relentlessly in bondage, we would we hope and pray rich consumers across the world would battle that injustice by directing their consumer dollar with purpose, communicating to capitalistic opportunists "NO WE WILL NOT." We will call unethical business leaders to task with our words, our votes, and our money. 

Finally (and all the readers breathed a sigh of relief), instead of just pulling old habits off the shelf and leaving a vacuum of void and guilt, let's replace American practices with - and I mean this in the most sincerest sense - Christian practices. Let's fill our homes with Jesus and find ways to worship Him with our little families every day this month. Let's join the Advent Conspiracy, daring to believe that Christmas can still change the world. May beautiful words fill our houses; lyrics like Come and behold him, born the King of angels. As much as possible, let's mute the competing chatter trying so hard to invade our spaces; turning it down, turning it off. Celebrate Advent with your kids with diligence and anticipation. We ordered a fun version of the Advent Calendar, and each night the kids open a new envelope full of Scriptures and family activities.  

6) All of the reading and thinking and nudges led me to host a 1-day e-sale for Karama Gifts tomorrow (Wednesday, November 20th).  I meant to get this post written sooner, as some of you will probably not read it until after then.  That's OK though :) I still want to tell you about them.  "Karama's vision is a world where Africans are given dignity through the power of economic independence, artisans are paid a fair wage for the beauty of their work, and African women and children are given opportunity through the provision of food and education."  You can view all their products at http://www.karamagifts.com, and you can also learn more about the artisans who make the items on their site.  The benefit of this 1-day sale is that you get free shipping on all orders over $15 by using the code ANNAPARTY.  I also got to choose 3 items that are 30% off for this one day only.  Your dollars make a difference.  Money talks.

OK, so this post may not be shorter, but my part was definitely shorter.  I can't help it that you needed to read half of Jen Hatmaker's post, too!  Thank you so much for reading.  I pray it makes you think and act differently.  I want to end with a few favorite quotes from another new favorite author, David Platt, in his book entitled Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream.

I am convinced that we as Christ followers in American churches have embraced values and ideas that are not only unbiblical but that actually contradict the gospel we claim to believe.  And I am convinced we have a choice. (page 3) 

But as a new pastor comparing the images around me that day with the pictures still fresh in my mind of brothers and sisters on the other side of the world, I could not help but think that somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable.  We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves. (page 7, emphasis added)

Consider the cost when Christians ignore Jesus' command to sell their possessions and give to the poor and instead choose to spend their resources on better comforts, larger homes, nicer cars, and more stuff.  Consider the cost when these Christians gather in churches and choose to spend millions of dollars on nice buildings to drive up to, cushioned chairs to sit in, and endless programs to enjoy for themselves.  Consider the cost for the starving multitudes who sit outside the gate of contemporary Christian affluence. (page 15) 

I know these last quotes from David Platt's Radical aren't directly related to Christmas, but they are related to the ideas in this post.  My mind also immediately goes to the World Vision Gift Catalog when I read these.  In closing, I wish you much peace with the Savior (not necessarily with this world), unending joy, and radicalness worthy of the Gospel this sacred season. 

 

Excess

As you know if you've read my blog at all, God has been using Jen Hatmaker and all things 7 to change my life.  (Side note: The Hatmaker clan will be getting their own HGTV show soon!  You must read her blog by clicking here or keep up with her on facebook for details!)  Since reading 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess with one group of friends and doing the subsequent Bible study The 7 Experiment: Staging Your Own Mutiny Against Excess with another group of friends, I have started to view things differently. 

I do not shop as much as I used to, because while it can be fun to look, it is not fun anymore to buy things that I don't need.  I still enjoy looking at Carter's for clothes for Lincoln, but I rarely buy because he doesn't need any more clothes.  Let's just say it's easier for me to stop this compulsion than it is for my sweet mom, and I've had to reign her in, too.  While we're on this subject, let me give you another example.  We are fortunate to be due with another baby boy this coming January, the same month that Lincoln turns two.  See this email exchange between Mom and me that occurred shortly after we found out that our second child is a boy.

Anna,
We are so excited about Baby Boy Rubin!  We went to Peebles to buy him an outfit but did not see anything we liked.  We will get some stuff (won't go overboard, you can give us some suggestions this weekend) when we go to Blowing Rock at the end of the month.  Love you, Mom

Mom,

I am actually having a boy in January which is actually what I already had....therefore any more clothes would probably be considered overboard :)  I feel like we went overboard with Lincoln's clothes the first year, so we really don't need anything.  The only thing would be a little brother or big brother outfit.  Love you, Anna 

 

Anna,

Great idea.  I will try to find Link a big brother outfit and I will buy Baby Boy Rubin #2 just one.  He can't wear all hand me downs :) Love you, Mom 

The next time I talked to Mom, I lovingly told her that Baby Rubin #2 could indeed wear hand-me-downs the first year of his life.  In fact, I'm pretty sure he's not going to care or even know the difference!  I know as our boys grow, they will develop different interests and probably not always be the same size during the same season.  But for the first year of his life, Baby Rubin #2 will be just as content in big brother's clothes as in new ones.  I adore my parents, and I know they only want to buy my children clothes because of their overwhelming love for them.  So it's hard to say no.  But sometimes enough is simply enough. 

 

Another example- Until a week ago, we had 3 crib sheets, which was plenty seeing as how I do laundry a couple of times a week and we only have one child.  But in thinking about the new baby, I have decided it's reasonable to have 4 crib sheets so we have a back-up for each child.  This Saturday I found an organic crib sheet with trucks, buses, bikes, and cars on it, and I was excited to buy it for Lincoln because he LOVES those things right now.  I actually just put it on his mattress today and he grinned and pointed and laughed.  It was awesome!  I felt OK buying that crib sheet because I knew he would love it AND I felt we would need another sheet.  The key point being the latter half of that sentence- we would need another sheet.  Quite frankly, I used to buy things because they were cute even if I didn't really need them, but now I am really trying to make sure both of those qualities are true so that I don't regret my purchases. 

 

Another super fun thing for me in planning for Baby #2 is buying a hand-me-down crib from a sweet friend in our Garage Sale for Orphans.  I got a nicer-than-I-would've-paid-for crib at half the price that I paid for Lincoln's IKEA crib, and it's special for 2 reasons.  Number one- It's from a sweet friend.  Number two- My purchase contributed to the unbelievable amount of money we made from people's unwanted items.  Read this update below from my friend Jennifer, who worked tirelessly getting this sale organized!

I want to thank everyone who donated or contributed time to the Garage Sale for Orphans.  I sent a check today for just over $1600.  It's going to a place called Ferrier Village in Haiti, which is a community of housing for orphaned teens providing them with not only a home, but an adult mentor.  Also, the money uses local materials and labor as an additional benefit to the local economy.  Thanks again!

Jennifer

Guess where the idea of Garage Sale for Orphans came from?  You guessed it!  Jen Hatmaker introduced us to an organization called Help One Now, who came up with this concept, in her 7 Bible study that we did this summer.  And Jennifer Craven took it and ran with it.  She solicited items from our group and other Bible study classes, put up signs, collected items, bought us Chic-fil-a breakfast, the list goes on...But we raised $1,600 from UNWANTED things that went to people who wanted them!  You can learn more about the whole concept of Garage Sale for Orphans by clicking here.  

One last baby note: I remember when my friend Settle was talking about getting her nursery ready.  She said something to the effect that all the decorating and pretty things we buy for the nursery are really for the parents, not the babies, because they won't even know the difference.  I had never thought about that, but it's true.  So much of what we think we are doing for others is actually for ourselves.

Ok, I'm beginning to see a pattern because most of my other examples also have to do with babies, but that's OK :) They're pretty much my life right now!  Here's another example.  When I was pregnant with Lincoln and during the first few months of his life, I seriously considered getting a mini-van.  Why, you might ask?  Let me tell you all my reasons.  

 

1) It would have more room, especially when we add another child to the mix. 

2) My driveway is narrow, and that sliding door would really come in handy.  I smile at this one because if I only knew then what I know now...(we have since sold our house to downsize and the narrow driveway is no longer an issue!)

3) My car might be kind of cramped with a big car seat. 

4) If I'm going to buy one eventually, why not buy one now and enjoy it?

5) My car is ten years old and has over 100,000 miles on it.  It's time, right? 

 

Can you see how good I am at rationalizing?  We even rented one for a weekend to go on a long trip once Lincoln was born to try it out.  But in the end, we decided against it.  For one, I was surprised to see how expensive minivans are, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't justify that kind of expense.  Even though I had labored over this decision, it was not extremely difficult in the end because I LOVE MY 2001 HONDA ACCORD with leather seats, tape player, and 6-disc CD changer, even if it does have 125,000 miles on it.  I think I even love it more than I'd love a minivan.  By some standards, it's an old car, but by my standards she's a jewel with a lot more life in her.

 

Another example: We are currently living in an 1,800 square foot, 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath house while our permanent house is being renovated.  My life is no harder or worse living here than it was in my 2,450 square foot, 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath house.  No, Lincoln doesn't have a playroom here, but he plays in his room, and it's fine :)  No, we don't have a dedicated office, but I grade papers and type in the extra bedroom.  No, we don't have 3 places to eat meals, we have 2, but it's enough.  Even if we're still here when Baby #2 comes, it is enough. 

In April, I went to hear Beth Moore at a Living Proof Live event and Samaritan's Purse had a life-size "model home" that you may find in a country in Africa.  I don't remember exactly which country, but what I do remember was that everything was in the same room.  The kitchen, the sleeping area, the living area, all in a room the size of my living room.  The image of that sparsely furnished "model home" has stayed with me.  It has not stayed with me because it depressed me, because it didn't.  It opened my eyes.  I have more than I need.  Excess clutters and complicates.  Enough doesn't.  Lord, help me live and breathe enough.

 

I'm not saying that you need to do exactly what I do.  We are different people in different situations.  We have different strengths and different weaknesses.  My biggest weakness is eating out.  I have tried to cut back, but I don't want to give it up completely.  When my beloved car dies, I will probably buy a new one with leather seats instead of a used one because that's just how I roll.  I buy new, I buy nice, but I keep it for the long haul.  I can tell you that I am proud to say that I no longer buy Bumble and Bumble shampoo and conditioner at $25 a bottle because Suave and Loreal are enough.  And enough is what I want.
 

What I am saying is that maybe now is the time to examine your life and think about where you're spending your money.  What really matters to you and what doesn't?  What's going to matter in the end and what won't?  Try looking at things for what they really are: things.  Not people, not needs, just things we want and don't often need. 

Try thinking differently.  Try thinking about what you'd buy if you actually had to choose because you didn't have the luxury to buy most/all of the things you want.  There are lots of people in this world who don't have the choice.  If you do, whether you believe it or not, you are a "have" in a world filled with "have nots" whose children's lives can be permanently, positively changed with $30 a month or where a few hundred dollars for a well can provide access to clean water that could literally save hundreds of lives.  That matters.  A new minivan for me or new clothes for Baby #2 or new _________ for you doesn't. 

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.              -Matthew 6:19-21 

I think financing a well in another country is storing up treasure in heaven.  I think tutoring a student at Ashley Elementary once a week for an hour is storing up treasure in heaven.  I think packing a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child is storing up treasure in heaven.

We don't always get to see the results of our giving, especially when it's halfway around the world.  But one of the things I look forward to most about heaven is seeing how one person's generosity truly changed the lives of people in ways they never knew about on this earth. 

What kind of treasure are you storing up?